Things I want My Daughters To Know

Thank you

I have just finished reading this amazing book. I lost my mum to cancer almost 6 years ago and I think my family is still in the falling apart stage! My mum was so much like Barbara, my older sister and I were her life and we had so much fun with her. My sister had a relationship with mum like Lisa and Barbara, while although I was my mums baby, I am a little too much like Jennifer - too proud, too in control, but completely lost without her! We miss her so much.

I don't think I have ever cried so much at a book (which is a bit embarressing when sat in Starbucks). My mum never really was able to come to terms with dying, it was all very quick, so there were no letters or vidoes of things she wanted to say, which we had so hoped for, but I know there was so much of what she would have wanted to say written in the book, I found it so unbelievably comforting. Thank you so much Elizabeth Noble!

Why it meant so much to me

I have just finished reading this fantastic book. It left me teary eyed at times but also made me laugh out loud at the authentic and true way in which the people in this book are portrayed. Moreover this book taught me so much about myself. It couldn't have come at a better time in my life. I relate so much to Jennifer. A bit about my life and why it meant so much to me: We are three sisters, my big sister (30), Annelize (a bit like Lisa), I am the middle sister (28), also the first one to get married (to a Stef (Stephen)), and the youngest Erna (we are eight years apart). It was amazing how even the names related to my life. None of us have children as yet. My mother is still alive and healthy (also married again to Pieter, his wife passed away of cancer). This book made me realize to appreciate the time I have left on this earth with my mother, value my “stepfather” more (although I will never call him dad), and realize the importance of both my amazing sisters in my life. It made me realize how simple and yet complicated love is and to work at each and every relationship one has been given on this earth. It showed me that no matter how bad we screw up that there will always be a second chance or a new beginning, BUT we need to let it happen for ourselves. I am passing the book on to my mother next to read, and hope that she will find so much worth in these pages as I have.

The book

I could not put this book down and it has made me realise that there are many things I want to tell my daughter yet now is not the time. I have started scrapbooks and am in the process of writing letters about different periods of my life, the things that have made me who I am. I hope one day she will read them and understand me.

Mothers and Daughters

I didn't understand why everything I did to impress my Mum, I wanted her approval she never seemed to notice me, fell on stony ground. When she died my aunt told me that she had always wanted a son and when my brother was born I was surpless to requirements.
I had always had to Look after him, make sure he was ok and he could never do anything wrong. Mum left all she had to him but I knew that was what she had wanted so I just got on with my life. My brother however could not, he gambled away her house, the money and within a year was on the streets. I still felt he was my responsibility, I tried to help and support him, my husband offered to let him come to us until he got himself sorted but he vanished. I have tried over the last twelve years to trace him but without success, he is always in the back of my mind. I still have this big sister feeling that I have failed him.Mums legacy! I hope and pray I have treated all my children the same and will continue to do so.

I could not teach my mother how to write her name

My mother value western education so much that she encouraged and supported I and my siblings to be educated, despite the fact that she is a widow and never had western education herself.

In my third year in the primary school in Nigeria, my mother called me one evening and wanted me to teach her how to write her name, a five lettered word 'Adija' and I could not do it. What I did to show that I could not teach her that day was to weep profusely.

Each day, whenever I remember that scene, I still shed tears because that was the moment I could have given little portion of what my mother sent me to gain in large portion but I could not do it.

rose

my mum rose, we had perhaps not the easiest of relationships, but i realse now she was way way ahead of her time. fiercly independent, loyal, her own person at all costs. i dont actually remember how she taught me things and things for which i am eternally grateful. my independence, although it scares the hell out of most men, my total loyalty to friends and the capacity to somehow keep loving, just because if any of us stop loving life, then its no life at all!! for all of the above i thank her and hope she is up there being still herself at all costs!!